Thomas: (How many people are in your family?)
Robert: Sorry?
Thomas: I said how many people are in your family?
Robert: That's a strange question to ask upon meeting someone. Usually I get "hi" or "how are you". Way to break the mold, anyways.
Thomas: I try.
Robert: (We have seven: my dad, my mother-in-law, my mom, my two brothers, my sister, and me. My sister is married and lives in New Orleans), in case you were wondering or needed a target to fix your probable habit of assault and subsequent murder of random young people.
Thomas: You just listed your mother in law before your own mother.
Robert: I wanted to announce that I was off-limits lest you were of the homosex.
Thomas: And you did so by failing to mention that your wife is also included in your family of seven people?
Robert: Well I thought you meant how many people are in your family in a 100-mile radius. My wife is currently out of town.
Thomas: Right, because that's immediately what you should think when someone asks you that.
Robert: You're the one who I needed to convince that I wasn't gay as to protect my anal virginity.
Thomas: Okay, I'll prove to you I'm not gay.
Robert: Good luck, bum boy.
Thomas: Your sister, (Is she younger or older than you? How old is she,) in other words?
Robert: Well, good on you. Now I just think you're a sex offender.
Thomas: Answer the damn question.
Robert: (She's 28.)
Thomas: Mmmm... ripe.
Robert: Sorry?
Thomas: (What's her name?)
Robert: You're starting to scare me, bro.
Thomas: What's her fucking name, asshole?!
Robert: I'd probably tell you if you weren't panting and shouting obscenities.
Thomas: Tell me her name or you will lose your anal virginity.
Robert: (Her name is Sarah)! Jesus Christ!
Thomas: See you later!
Robert: Goodbye!
Basically, while reading through my French book today, I noticed that the little conversations two people have are often kind of creepy and not things people would really ask even if they were good friends. Anything in parenthesis is actual dialogue straight from the book, in case it wasn't obvious, and the last two lines are the normal little salutations that usually finish off those stupid little exchanges.
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