On Meditation

I'd like to describe to you the feeling of a clear mind.

Today I woke up once again realizing that you can't spend every second of your life in the presence of people who bring out unbounded happiness. My bed has shifted between a safehaven and a box of solitude in the last few weeks, but now I'll see it as something different: a place of rest. Nothing more and nothing less.

I was wrestling with raw emotions today once again, overcome by the feelings I get when I'm around a certain, wonderful person. I woke up, got my paycheck, and came home to finally rid my left ear of the water that had decided to live there in the days prior.

Then I went out and bought a soccer ball and ran around a field with it.

Then I went home and finished the second season of The Last Airbender.

Then I had a talk with someone. Someone who revealed things to me that I was desperately needing to hear. Afterwards, I got up, went outside to my patio, pulled up a chair facing my back yard and the angry skies above it, and I closed my eyes.

I've never experienced and out of body experience before, and I'm sorry to disappoint you in saying I still haven't, but what I DID experience on my patio lacks a concrete definition with out of body being the closest thing to it.

The sky was grey then. Barely any light was leaking through the clouds. But I saw light over the darkness. Beautiful, white light flowing through my mind like waves on a beach. With every concentrated breath I took, another wave washed over me. Hours earlier I felt downtrodden, apprehensive, and pathetic.

Now I feel... cleansed. Every emotion that's flowed through me in the last two weeks has suddenly fallen away. I'm completely free of previous inhibitions and now, thanks to someone's revelation, happy in knowing that the person who kept me from falling into an abyss days ago has someone to tell her how spectacular she is.

And that's what describes me right now. Happy. Happy on the verge of tears. I feared what horrible things and thoughts this day would bring, but now I don't feel a thing.

I'm ready to move on.