The Plunge List

Let me start off by clearing something up, as a few people don't seem to be able to grasp this concept quite yet. When I write that I'm going to do something on here, it rarely if ever means that I'm going to jump straight into it without thinking straight, and in some cases it'll never happen at all.

So let's get into the first NotInspiredByWhatSeemsLikeALifeChangingExperienceAtTheTimeButReallyIsn't blog post I've had for a while.

Recently, I've gotten sudden urges to go online and purchase some cheap form of transportation to anywhere. One of those "buy a ticket on the next flight out of the airport" kind of shindigs. I'm just fascinated by the thought of abandoning everything and just roaming around the world without having to worry about when I work next or how dismal my grades are or whether or not the apple of my eye returns any sentiment I might show towards them.

I suppose this is something everyone desires, the whole bit about no responsibility and whatnot, but I think this is pretty deep-seeded in me.

I've decided that I'm going to put "see the world via a boat and other outdated forms of transportation" on a list. Not a bucket list, though. I think it's implied that I'm going to see the world before I die. No point putting that on a list for the rest of my life. This is a more short-term list, or at least my currently optimistic self believes it'll be short-term.

I call it a Plunge List. Things I want to do before I take the plunge and get married. Don't get me wrong, it's still my ultimate goal to get married, have kids, and father children who'll keep me rich well into my seventies using their prodigious plate-spinning abilities and other obscure talents that only a person like me would exploit in their own children. But there are certain things I want to do before then, and that you could probably only do before then quite honestly.

1.) See the world via a boat and other outdated forms of transportation- I specify two things here: being on a boat because being surrounded by the ocean and seeing the sunset glisten on the waves every night is something that appeals to me and the other outdated forms of transportation because they're slower. Planes and automobiles just aren't as romantic as going by at a pedestrian pace on a train or something.

But the "see the world" part is the most important phrase in #1. The thing I'm most jealous of my parents for is that they've seen the world. I looked at one of my dad's old passports a few months ago and saw stamps on the back pages from countries that don't even exist anymore. Granted, the Congo isn't exactly a tourist trap (though by the name alone you'd think they'd know how to throw one hell of a dance party), but the fact that it's a.) in Africa and b.) not in Plano appeals to me greatly.

I want to walk through the streets of Rome like Caesar once did. Not in a toga or anything, but just the whole general walking thing. I'm pretty sure they did that a lot back then.

I want to go to the French countryside and replace my less-than-impressed image of France with the beautiful one that I hear so much about.

I want to go to New Zealand and Fiji and all of those other exotic sounding islands and view what an unscarred and untouched world looks like.

And yes, I want to go to Tokyo and just hang around a street or two for a few hours. One of the great things about comedy is that it can write itself sometimes, and I'm pretty sure people-watching in Tokyo would be the prime example of that.

2.) Fall from a great height- Don't look for a hidden meaning in this, because there isn't one. I literally just want to just fall out of something- a building, a plane, whatever- and land safely on the ground. This would probably be easier described as skydiving, but I'd actually prefer it if I just went without a parachute and either slowed myself down by waving my arms rapidly or got caught by something.

I hear there's some place near Las Colinas that lets you jump off of a platform and into a net. That kind of thing just screams "Do me" in the least sexual way possible.

3.) Find my tree- Now this one does have a pretty deep back story behind it. It's a metaphor, obviously (I'm of the mindset that no coming of age story is complete without at least a slight allusion to a tree. Don't ask me why, it's just one of those things that just is to me), but when I first thought of it it kind of wasn't.

The first time I ever meditated, which was last friday, I had images of white waves crashing over the crevices of my mind and washing every slightly poisonous thought away. When I went back the next day, there wasn't really much to clear away, so instead the waves revealed something to me: a lone tree sitting on a tall hill overlooking several other, smaller hills. At first, that was it. Just a tree. Just sitting there being a tree.

But then I saw myself sitting under it, looking at the sun slowly tuck itself away behind the horizon. I had my head against the trunk (this is worth noting because I despise the feel of tree bark and I'm pretty sure every little insect that ever decided to be a dick and bite or otherwise inconvenience a human being lives inside of trees) and smiling with a look on my face that said "Yes, life, I did just make you my bitch".

Then I thought about it more, focusing on that tree. Then I saw myself there again, but there was someone beside me. I didn't see her face, I didn't catch her name, and I'm fairly certain that it wasn't someone I know at present (which makes it sound like a one-late afternoon under a tree stand, but wait until just after the closing parenthesis and you'll know that's not the case), but I'm positive that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Despite the complete lack of knowledge of her identity, I know exactly who she is.

Of course, when I say "Find my tree", it's just saying finding where I feel at home. I'm not entirely sure I want to spend the rest of my life in Plano, but really it's difficult for me to imagine living anywhere else. The final act of my three part quest would be finding such a place and watching the sunset with the most beautiful woman in the world.

This was fun. I miss writing these without feeling obliged to.